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Dealing with Controlling People

Controlling people can only control you if you allow them to. For you to know how to deal with them, you have to know this basic fact. These individuals are almost always present in any workplace. Some people may actually prod these people through their own reactions. It is easy to deal with them once you realize that a lot depends upon you. Here are pointers to help you deal with this type of people

When you say no, mean it

Learn how to say no, and mean it. If the controlling person wants you to do something you do not want to do, firmly say no. Do not budge no matter how much pressure he applies on you. Show him that he would not be able to change your mind. Once he gets this fact into his mind, he would realize that he could not control you just as he wanted to. Every time you do this, it sends a clear message to him, and he would eventually stop forcing you to do something you do not want to do.

Show him you are not a push-over

Demonstrate through your actions and words that you are not a push-over by standing your ground when you believe you are right. It does not matter whether you are alone or not regarding a certain issue. Strong people take a stand and are not afraid to defend their position. If he observes that you have a strong personality, he would not bother you, unless he decides to go against you. If he does, react calmly and confidently. Remember, controlling people could only affect you to the extent that you allow them to.

Do not be afraid to talk to him boldly

If he persists in wanting to control you, talk to him candidly about his behavior. Perhaps, he may not be aware of it. Be diplomatic about it. There is no need to attack him verbally or to use hurting words. In a calm manner, tell him how you feel. You could say; “I don’t like how you try to control me. This is my life, so may I request you to stop meddling with it,” or something to that effect.

Work with him in a worthy endeavor

You can work with him in an event or activity you both believe in. Show him that he does not have to control people to be fulfilled or happy; that working harmoniously with one another and developing rapport are more important than controlling people. You may not succeed on the first try but do not give up. Your persistence would pay off eventually. These actions should be done not in anger or in a burst of passion.

If you do these steps in a calm manner, your actions would show him that he is not affecting you significantly. This would grant him less power.

Controlling people are only after those they can twirl around their fingers. If you show him firmly that you do not welcome his actions, he would stop bothering you.

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