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2010-11-17

Is Crying in a Man A sign of Weakness?

I am a sentimental person. I cry when I feel sad and frustrated. I cry when I am extremely happy, and I even cry just watching those tragic soap operas on TV.

When a woman cries, people say it's natural; that women are expected to cry. People don't see anything wrong when a woman cries.

But when a man cries, there are several notions about this. We often hear a mother say to her child " Don't cry , you're a big man now," implying to the child that big men don't cry;
or worst, we often hear young boys taunting each other - " You're a sissy, you're crying."



It is observed that men cry less often than women. This maybe because women are more emotional than men, or is it because people expect men to be less lachrymose and they have to live up to that image?

As for me, I believe that crying in a man, denotes just the opposite - that he is strong enough and sure of his manhood that is why he is confident to show to the world that he can feel; that he has emotions and that - he is human!

Free Clipart Photo of a Father and Baby Crying
Image from SurfDoggy.com Best of Web.com

What about you?

If you are a man, why do you not cry often? or do you cry but you don't want to show the people around you? Why not?

If you are a woman, what are your thoughts about men who cry?

29 comments:

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I would love it if my husband would cry once in awhile. We have been together over 13 years and I have never seen him cry. I think it is good for a man to cry to release their emotions.

confused said...

I'm with you I don't cry or get emotional often but I do and I see nothing wrong or different about it..

James said...

Cry? No, I don't do to much of that. Now, I do get a rather massive lump in my throat when I feel I should cry, but I fight tooth and nail to surpress the tears. Wouldn't want to be called a sissy and all of that. Great post though!

Jena Isle said...

WannaBee mom, you're right. Men should cry more often, so that the toxic substances in their bodies would be released and help ease their stress.

Confused, yes, I feel that way too. It is natural to cry.

James, wouldn't you feel better if you just release it? That is my perception that men do their best to supress their tears.

Thanks the three of you for dropping by.

faeryrowan said...

I personally see crying in men as a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes a great amount of strength and security for man to shed those tears. If only a lot of men know this, they don't have to bottle up all those emotions inside. My man cries when he's hurt, and I couldn't stop myself from comforting him with all the love that I can give. ;)

Jenaisle said...

Faery, I agree with you. It is a sign of strength to me too. Thanks for dropping by.

Kathy said...

It just goes to show how powerful societal pressure is, as well as the "rules" laid down by boys' parents. Shame. I agree that men who can cry are sure of themselves and honest with their emotions. It's healthy to cry and get it out, no matter which sex.

Zriz said...

I do believe that crying in a man makes him all the more masculine and doesn't mean that he's gay...

I believe it takes guts for a man to cry...hmmm

My hubby has cried in front of me...of course this doesn't happen often....he also does it when only I can witness his moment of weakness..of course, I would also be crying at the same time...

Jena Isle said...

Kathy, yes, "societal pressure" is one significant factor, Thanks for the enlightening comment.

Z'riz, good to know your hubby does not hide it. The partner's acceptance is also a certain factor. That is sweet for you to listen to him when he's crying.

Happy blogging to you both.

Jena Isle said...

That's very sweet of you zriz...

Catherine said...

My hubby cries all the time. It's the men that bottle it all up that need help.

Guy Vestal said...

I have an 8th Daughter on the way in late July. I wouldn't know what life would be like without tears.

dugg.

Jenaisle said...

Guy, right you are, crying is also one way to excrete harmful toxins from the body, just like micturating and defecating.

That is why we feel relieved when we cry, because these substances are excreted. Thanks for the visit.

TKH said...

Hi Jena, I agree with most readers who commented. A crying man is not a weak man. It is merely a sign that he is human after all, and humans have emotions. It is a matter of social expectations heaped on men, which eventually led to negative perceptions of a crying man. On hindsight, even though most who commented felt that it is alright for men to cry, some men have too strong an ego to admit that they do cry, or try to act "tough" in front of others. It's all in the mind!

Jenaisle said...

tkh, I absolutely agree with you that , (may I quote you)

"It is a matter of social expectations heaped on men, which eventually led to negative perceptions of a crying man."

Society sometimes demands norms which are not natural.

Thanks for that profound insight.

TKH said...

Hi Jena, you're right. Social demands may mould the behaviour of one playing his role in society, and this can be over-taxing especially if the manner which he is expected to behave does not correspond to his own belief.
I think loved ones can play their part by pro-actively conveying the message to their dads, hubbies or boyfriends that they do not heap the same demands on them as society does. I believe that will very much be appreciated by men out there.

Jenaisle said...

I agree THK. We, the women, can do a lot to change this perception. In fact, a lot of women nowadays think exactly the way you do.

I can also say this is true with our ladies, who gave their comments about this post.

Thanks thk for the interaction.

Prily said...

i don't think it is a sign of weakness....
by the way, paying you a visit and thanking you for your comment to my previous entry.take good care!see you around!cheers!

Jenaisle said...

Hi Prily, thanks too for the visit. Your site is cool. Happy blogging.

ron said...

crying is part of life..we need to shed a tear once in a while to let our feelings out..if your a man secure with your masculinity..crying anytime is alright...great blog mam...B.G. mt3

bingkee said...

My husband cries and I don't see it as a sign of weakness...actually he gets stronger whenever he cries. It takes so much emotions for a man to handle when he cries and releasing them through tears is like a "homeostatic balance" of his inner strength within.

Anonymous said...

There are things in this world that could make anyone cry. We are human, if you dont have a dis function in your eye sockets then its ok to cry if you do ok we get the point. Being strong is one thing but keeping issues in may cause anger toward your partner and everyone around you. I am a man and Yes I do cry when necessary.

Anonymous said...

I can see by most woman here in this Blog have a natural tender feminine heart. For those who say a man is weak because he is seen crying in front of his wife or girlfriend tells me that such woman have hearts as cold as stone. If a crying man is seen crying as a weakness in front of his female companion its strictly a bias stereotype. Men tend to act that their more stronger than women emotionally because its inbred into them by the illusions of society. Women and Men humanly have identical emotions. Men just cover them up with vulnerable invisible masks and walls of defense. Everybody wears vulnerable masks. I'm sure deep inside the nurturing powers of femininity within a woman knows how to make her man cry if she really tried. And sometimes to for the better of the relationship.

Jena Isle said...

very well said anon, I agree with you on all counts. Thanks for sharing these essential facts. Best regards.

Mayumi said...

I've witnessed my boyfriend cry a few times.. and it never seizes to amaze me how strong he is, and how confident he can be about showing his true feelings. That to me is a strong man.. never afraid to show what really matters.

Liz said...

I don't see crying as a sign of weakness at all. If anything it's a sign that he's not afraid to own his emotions and express them. I take it more as a sign of weakness when a guy acts all cold and evasive in the face of emotional situations. :/

giay said...

I don't see anything about crying regardless if the tears are coming from a man or a woman. Crying is just an outburst of emotion and need not be suppressed.

ROMELO said...

crying is not a sign of weakness... it becomes a weakness when all you do is cry...

Kyle Crossett said...

I do cry on occasion, but only by myself where no one will ever know about it. If I had a wife or girlfriend who allready loved me then maybe I would in front of her. But the reality is a crying man would scare away any prospective women from getting to know him better, even against her own judgement. She can't help it, it's an evolutionary response.