Finding Love in a Marriage -A Valentine's Day Post

Since it's Valentine’s day I decided to post an article talking about love. This has been published at helium but I want it posted here in my blog so I could reach more readers. I find it imperative that I should share my thoughts based on my own experiences.

Finding the genuine meaning of love in a marriage is not an overnight process as every romantic person would like to believe.

The true meaning of love is built slowly and steadily over a period of time when the couple lives together. This is developed amidst their ups and downs and the daily challenges that assail them in their married life.

When two unique individuals are joined in matrimony, they still, do not have a complete grasp of the overwhelming obligations that come with this purported love, not until they have undergone together life's experiences which would test the strength of their bond.

No matter what faith or religion you belong to, this quote from the Bible is what true love is all about. "Love is patient and kind. Love is understanding. Love does not rejoice in falsehood but in the truth. Love does not count the wrongs. Love is forgiving..."

I got married at an early age. There was a song in my heart as I marched the aisle with the man I loved. I was a romantic and I imagined us to be Adam and Eve in our own paradise of eternal peace and bliss.

It was of course, far from the truth for I slowly discovered that living with a different person is not at all the bed of roses that I was made to believe from the romantic movies that I have watched and novels that I so devoured.

It was soon clear to me that the man I married was a completely unique individual with different needs and desires that oftentimes were deviant from mine. I loved to read books, he rarely read one. I disliked cooking; he loved to experiment with different dishes. He was a perfectionist, I was not. But because I loved him so much, I accepted these facts about his interests and desires and learned how to compromise.

I learned that the true meaning of love was actually tolerance of the other person, acceptance of his individual quirks, and respect for his beliefs and interests.

The ultimate test came when in a drunken stupor he had slept overnight with a woman. This unpleasant event nearly cost me my marriage, but I loved him and this gave me the grace to forgive and forget. It was a painful and difficult process but I was able to surmount the negative emotions and focus on the love that I had for him. This made me realized too that true love denotes being able to forgive each other's transgressions.

After 30 years of married life, I can conclude that I have found the true meaning of love; and I'm happy that I did. Passion inevitably fades with time but true love even grows stronger.

And as we grow old together, I would be contented just holding his hand and hugging him close to me, as we watch the kaleidoscope of colors that the setting sun paints in the azure sky.

Photo 2 by _DarkGuru_

Photo 1 by Darwin Bell