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2009-03-25

Tips on Keeping Your Marriage Alive and Exciting

The first question that comes to your mind is: Do we have to do something when we obviously love each other?" Wouldn't that be sufficient to make our marriage exciting and alive?" True enough, but even lasting, eternal love needs constant nurturing and care. The glaring fact remains that, much as couples love each other, the only constant thing in this world is change. People grow physically, emotionally and psychologically.

In the process of "growing up", you may grow apart or grow closer. It is therefore, your responsibility as couples, to ensure that your marriage remains exciting and alive by doing activities that draw you closer together and not the other way around. These activities are really very simple ones.

Here are some pointers on how to keep your marriage exciting and alive:

1. Talk to each other.

Express your thoughts and feelings to your partner. Be open with what you want without disrespecting the other.
Communication is still one of the major routes of true understanding.

Talk about your day to each other; the significant and the trivial parts, what made you smile, laugh, etc. When you genuinely talk to each other the relationship becomes more exciting.

Imagine not being able to tell your partner how good he/she makes you feel when you're making love, wouldn't that be a torture?

2. Do simple little things that would make him/her feel special.

The quotation "Simple little things mean a lot" is never outdated. Leave a note tucked in your spouse's desk organizer telling him how much you love him. For husbands, give a rose to your wives on ordinary days. Bring home some gifts from her favorite bookstore.

3. Spend some time alone without any distraction.

Book a ticket for two to Paris, or if finances are low, then drive to the next town. Just be somewhere else that there would only be the two of you. Bring the children to their grandmother if needed, or hire a nanny. What is important is for you to spend time together.

If your work does not allow this, then do it at least once a week, or once a month, go out for a dinner date, swimming activity or spend an overnight stay in a local romantic hotel.

Capture the mood and ambiance that made you fall in love with each other.

4. Spring some surprises.

If you haven't worn a sexy negligee before, then wear one and flaunt your assets to him.
Prepare and unexpected dinner by candlelight when he comes home. Wear his favorite perfume.

For husbands, you could come home with a bottle of champagne for some night bonding. You could think of many more surprises based on your wives likes and hobbies.

5. Be innovative in making love.

Making love is an art. Read books and watch movies together to add spice to your love making. It is always exciting to try the new position you have watched on DVD. Don't be shy to tell your spouse of what you prefer to do and what arouses and satisfies you.

Enjoying and deriving sensual pleasure from making love is a must for married couples. You must be certain that both of you are satisfied and satiated afterwards.

The moment after the act itself is even more crucial. Women want to be cuddled and embraced most especially after the act.
Turning your back on your wives and snoring off to sleep is a demonstration of your insensitivity and callousness. This will make your wives feel used. Love her by being gentle and sweet even after the making love.

For wives, be expressive of your desire to be cuddled and pampered afterwards. Tell your husbands what you specifically desire.
They are not mind-readers; tell them what you want done: "Could you put your arms around me until we've fallen asleep?"

6. Do activities together.

Wouldn't it be exciting to have your husband dancing with you in a friend's party? Or your wife watching with you outdoors in one of your favorite football games? Household chores could also be shared. They are much more fun when you turn them into happy chores. Doing activities together strengthens the bonds of belongingness and love.

Even child birth activities should be participated in by husbands. This would create a firm, meaningful bond between wife, husband and child.

7. Bring out the child-like trait in you.

This means being creative, insouciant, carefree, jolly, and having an unyielding belief that you could conquer whatever challenges that would assail your married life. This will bring a lilt to your steps, a smile in your face and a zest to your relationship.

Play and be happy. Humor will always diffuse a humdrum existence. The daily problems that would come to you may dampen your spirit and knock the joy out of you, but being jovial and positive about things would perk up your marriage.

You're the best judge on what would make your marriage exciting and alive. Be creative and devise ways to have excitement and joy with your partner.

Photo 2 by foundphotoslj

11 comments:

ark said...

Communication really is the number one key for a marriage to be successful and last long. Whenever me and my wife have misunderstandings, we talk about it on how we can compromise the situation. And we never go to bed angry.

Jena Isle said...

Hi ark,

How true. That's a good practice of not going to bed angry. Thanks and happy blog hopping.

zorlone said...

There are a lot of things to keep your marriage alive. I'm a strong believer in the advantage of having different activities. Plan a trip, try new stuff or sports, learn to play music, or join organizations. Anything to keep that fire running.

Of course, this is all a matter of opinion.

Z

thirdworldgeek said...

wow..You two must have love each other so much.Trust and love i think is the most important ingredients in the marriage life.:)

shasha said...

helpful tips for married couples. keep the romance alive everyday i believe that is the key.

Jena Isle said...

Hi Z,

Matter of opinion huh...he he he..kidding po doc. Of course it is,. for you...maybe???

Thanks and happy blog hopping.

Jena Isle said...

Hi thirdworldgeek,

Indeed, those are all factors for keeping a marriage alive. Thanks for that vital input and happy blog hopping.

Jena Isle said...

Hi Shasha,

Yes, you're right. Keep the romance alive everyday. Thanks and happy blog hopping.

Mos and Nikou said...

Nice tips. Did a quick glance and maybe I should apply them too.

Overall This is a great blog of yours. I'm also a Pinay and now living abroad. I have just started my own blog: TheShanghaiExpat. Please feel free to visit and let me know what you think for a link exchange.

Cheers,
Nikou

Jena Isle said...

Hi Mos and Nikou,

Sure I would be glad for a link exchange. God bless.

tashabud said...

Hi Jena,
Yes, cuddling after lovemaking, varying positions of lovemaking, and varying the places where to make love are very important, indeed. Great advice. I agree with all of them.

I'm still convinced that you should have a weekly advice paper column. You give great, sound advice.

Tasha